Separation & Divorce
Separated couples may often feel that it is too late to rescue the relationship. One partner or both can feel burned out, misunderstood, tired and resentful with the other. Whether it is due to unrelenting arguing, emotional disconnection, or a combination of factors, separating can often seem like the only way out.
Many couples do come to couples therapy for one last try to repair their relationship. They do so because they remember the spark and excitement they felt, the friendship and love they had wanted, and the hope they had for their future together. They want to see if there is a road back to reconnection.
Repairing a bond takes work but many separated couples do find their way back to a connected relationship with each other and they often report a more real, emotionally connected and overall better relationship the second time around. In other cases, restoring the relationship is unsuccessful but couple therapy can lead to a separation plan that helps separating amicably, deal with co-parenting issues, provide support with the emotional reactions to separating, and even help each partner to do better in future relationships.
“PEACE. It doesn’t mean to be in place where there is no noise, trouble or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those thing and still be calm in your heart”
Unknown
Don’t know how to describe your feelings in your relationship?
Here are some of the ways in which these challenges may be showing up
Emotional concerns
- Feeling bored or unsatisfied in your relationship
- Difficulty attuning to your authentic self
- Difficulty identifying and communicating your needs
- Difficulty expressing yourself
- Feeling used and/or under appreciated
- Feeling of judgement or criticism towards yourself
- Avoiding confrontation
- Rumination or obsessive thinking about future or past
- Feeling like you are never enough
- Feeling overly responsible
- Feeling resentful towards others
- Fear of being judged, rejected, or misunderstood
- Only seeing the negative in yourself/situation
- Feeling stuck
Sexual concerns
- Disconnection between partners: “my partner prefer sex over affection”
- Difficulty communicating/integrating sexual needs or fantasies
- Difficulty committing to a relationship
- Having unpleasant memories when thinking about sex
- Feeling that sex is a chore
- Difficulty becoming sexually aroused
- Being distracted by other thoughts during sex
- Feeling a general lack of sexual pleasure
- Feeling pressure to experience orgasm
- Experiencing persistent and unwanted arousal
- Having fantasies that cost discomfort or shame
- Keeping sexual secrets from a partner
What to Expect
01 – FIRST STAGES
Through our first few sessions, I am taking the time to unpack my clients’ reality and motif of consultation gently. These first sessions are fundamental because therapeutic work can only happen if there is a sense of comfort and trust in the room. While learning about my clients, I assess the situation, the presence of emotional patterns, recurrent challenges and clients’ strengths. I call this first stage de-escalation as we are looking to frame and identify the negative cycle that keeps individuals and couples stuck. At the end of this stage, clients begin to recognize their cycle as the enemy of their situation – are capable to step out of the cycle as it happens – express hope – and show openness to their partner or other individuals in their life.
02 – MIDDLE STAGES
During the second stage, clients begin to feel the benefits of the therapy. Individuals and couples can now access and engage with their emotional experience. Emotions are no longer foreign or frightening. The focus on this stage is restructuring the bond within oneself or between the partners. Clients describe it as the opening phase through which their fears are no longer triggering. They can be responsive and emotionally engaged with one another in a more natural manner. An inner sense of peace and bonding events mark the transition toward the third stage.
03 – ENDING STAGES
With the need for closeness being restored, clients are consolidating their therapeutic gain. They enact new positions in their ways of living and engage in constructive cycles with others, including their partner. The end of the final stage is no better to describe by the ability to turn towards a significant other in time of need with ease and comfort. In addition, couples are offering mutual support to each other and shape new solutions to pragmatic issues.
If you align with any of the above, and ready to step in a journey to live fully and freely, schedule a phone consultation to get started.
