If you are interested to learn more about why our sexual response varies from person to person, click here to listen to Emily Nagoski, a pioneer in the sex therapy field.
Sex Therapy For Couples
When problems arise in a relationship, the sexuality is usually negatively impacted. Sexual difficulties in an otherwise healthy, happy relationship may damage the couple’s connection. Through sex therapy for couples, I address sexual concerns from an attachment perspective. That means that all emotional and behavioral responses are viewed as being based in the desire to either protect against sexual disconnection or attempt to create sexual connection.
What inspires my clinical view of “great sex” is that sex requires emotionally attached lovers. Satisfying sex doesn’t mean “great orgasms” for men where the focus is on skills, techniques or variety. As per another social belief, women don’t only focus on the relational contributors. In fact, both men and women are looking for safe exploration where the emotional, and physical responses are equally involved; both men and women are interested in discovering the spiritual component of optimal sexual experiences. Approaching the capacity for magnificent sex will require discarding many of the constricting fallacies to open a safe sexual space through which erotism and sensuality can fortify the bond between partners.
It is important to mention that particular sequences of individual and relational factors create different pathways. My therapy sessions will pay particular attention to the complexity of theses pathways in the context of your unique experiences.
My sexual lens
Sexual connection and pleasure emerges when a couple becomes more attuned to one another’s cues and feels safe to explore the most vulnerable part of themselves. Passionate sex has more to do with the level of safety in the relationship than the level novelty or performance in the sexual play.
“Although sexuality is only one dimension of a couple’s relationship, it plays a vital role in the overall quality and strength of a couple’s emotional bond.”
What to Expect
01 – FIRST STAGES
Through our first few sessions, I am taking the time to unpack my clients’ reality and motif of consultation gently. These first sessions are fundamental because therapeutic work can only happen if there is a sense of comfort and trust in the room. While learning about my clients, I assess the situation, the presence of emotional patterns, recurrent challenges and clients’ strengths. I call this first stage de-escalation as we are looking to frame and identify the negative cycle that keeps individuals and couples stuck. At the end of this stage, clients begin to recognize their cycle as the enemy of their situation – are capable to step out of the cycle as it happens – express hope – and show openness to their partner or other individuals in their life.
02 – MIDDLE STAGES
During the second stage, clients begin to feel the benefits of the therapy. Individuals and couples can now access and engage with their emotional experience. Emotions are no longer foreign or frightening. The focus on this stage is restructuring the bond within oneself or between the partners. Clients describe it as the opening phase through which their fears are no longer triggering. They can be responsive and emotionally engaged with one another in a more natural manner. An inner sense of peace and bonding events mark the transition toward the third stage.
03 – ENDING STAGES
With the need for closeness being restored, clients are consolidating their therapeutic gain. They enact new positions in their ways of living and engage in constructive cycles with others, including their partner. The end of the final stage is no better to describe by the ability to turn towards a significant other in time of need with ease and comfort. In addition, couples are offering mutual support to each other and shape new solutions to pragmatic issues.
If you align with any of the above, and ready to step in a journey to live fully and freely, schedule a phone consultation to get started.